a little like Dory

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a little like Dory

I could claim baby brain, but it goes back farther than that.

I’m a bit of a Dory. I only hope I’m as entertaining. I just wish I were exaggerating more about how forgetful I am.

I have a particularly short attention span at the moment. Sure, there’s often a child calling my attention away, but then I forget to go back to the thing I was half-way through doing. So frustrating!

I have like thirty tabs open at a time, on the computer. There’s a baby asleep in our bedroom and so the folded laundry is on the couch until I can put it away. There doesn’t seem much point putting away Mr Potato Head because Louis will play with it again when he wakes up.

There are usually a whole lot of things I could be or should be doing around this place – a rubbish bin needs emptying, the water in the flowers needs refreshing, the dining table is a mess, I’m hungry and want to make a smoothie, I’m in the middle of writing a new bit of a chapter of my novel, there are three new tweets waiting for me, a query letter to write and I’m half way through an episode of Wild At Heart – it’s paused on the television (I’ll watch it next time I’m feeding Elena).

I need to take some forms up to the securite sociale this afternoon, and I should get some bread while I’m up there. Louis has been inside all day, so maybe we’ll go to the park. I’ll take my kindle – but what will I read? I’m in the middle of several books.

I only just remembered, half an hour ago, that early this morning I told Luuk I’d send him a photo, as soon as possible. Oops. It’s a photo of our bedroom wall, which is badly water damaged, probably because the shower is leaking… which means visits from the apartment owner and plumbers and sometime I must remember to take photos of the water meter to gauge the severity of the leak.

I am determined to finish this blogpost before I get up to do ANYTHING else. Even the smoothie can wait.

I have a little to-do list app on my phone which tells me I need to pump – that is express some breastmilk. I try to do this every couple of days so that Elena can take a bottle if/when I go out. Why not just do it the day before I plan to go out? Because if I do it regularly it doesn’t mess so much with my milk supply.

I remembered to sterilize the bottles and stuff – at least that’s something. Kitchen’s a mess though. Luuk’s picking up takeaways tonight so that we don’t have to add any more dishes to the chaos. And after eating our takeaways, we’ll do the dishes. And then maybe watch the special features on the last season of The Wire.

We just finished watching that show. It certainly throws my little slice of chaos into perspective. At least I don’t have to deal with any of that kind of crazy – drugs, poverty, corruption, violence… though a little part of me still wants to be a reporter. Maybe one day.

For now, I will write in my current circumstances, with all of these priorities to balance and decisions to make. In just a year or two things could be entirely different.The future is so hard to imagine. And yet, at the same time, I’m fairly certain that I’ll teach again. I doubt I’ll ever go into politics, or not far into it anyway. I’ll always write, though the genres and medium will probably shift. The babies will grow and parenting will involve fewer nappies (hallelujah!) and more negotiation… hm.

But for now, right here, I’ll write. I’ll post this, then make a smoothie, toss a diaper in the bin, wipe down the kitchen bench, drink my smoothie and then keep on editing that novel. If I can tick off all that – oh, and change the water in the flowers – before the babies wake, then fabulous!

That’s the goal.

Off I go.