Scattered

  • -

Scattered

It’s a side-effect of tiredness, this scattered feeling. I do one thing for all of two minutes and then I get distracted and do something else and half the time I’m doing multiple things at once.

It’s exhausting. I get lots of housework and cooking done, but I don’t feel much sense of accomplishment and I certainly don’t enjoy the process (not something I expect out of housework, but cooking can be play and art and so much fun).

Things don’t get done as well as they would if they were given my full attention, beginning to end, but then again, when I’m this tired, perhaps getting anything done well is just asking too much.

Right now, Louis is having lunch (I’m about to wash him some grapes) and the Cauliflower soup (my lunch) is on the stove. I’ve finished tidying the toys/laundry out of the lounge but the vacuuming will wait till both babies are awake at the same time. There’s not a single clear surface in this, or any other, room in the house… but then I did say I’d leave the house as-is when I hosted coffee/play group next. I sort of want people to see how chaotic it usually is so that they don’t think I’m superwoman (being mum to two littlies and also writing novels)… but I couldn’t resist tidying this morning. My head was too foggy to work on the novels. And a tidy house helps with the fog.

I’d love for the dining table, coffee table, sideboard and computer desk to all be pristine… Where’s a cleaning fairy when you need one?

Two hours till playgroup. I will vaccuum (because babies tend to spend time on the floor, and then so do the mums, and… well, ew. Gross. It’s embarrassing and also possibly dangerous right now.)

I will also have two babies awake for most of that two hours. And I need to eat lunch before the second wakes up.

I’d love to work on my novel plan… but I should probably be realistic. Perhaps, after playgroup I can put Louis in front of an Elmo video and then get on with… researching what a steward’s role was in regency era England. I suppose I could read while I breastfeed. Always worth a try. But my kindle is all queued up a few chapters into The Eyre Affair and it’s unlikely I’ll read anything but that.

In fact… the soup is ready. Perhaps I’ll read while I eat.