I have that feeling that I’m behind. There are emails that need replies and probably phone calls as well, chores and projects and people I’m neglecting.
I know, I could stop writing my blog and go do these things (in fact I already did – that line break took about twenty minutes) but ticking a couple of things off the list doesn’t remove the guilty feeling that I should be doing something arduous (or not arduous, but for whatever reason undesirable).
I call this the should-monster. The should-monster haunts mums (but not just mums) the world over and makes them miserable with all the little alternatives to the way they do things.
I choose to write, but I should be doing the laundry, tidying the kitchen, paying the kids more attention, writing something more important, getting some exercise, sorting out the filing…
There’s always something.
Now that I’ve identified the should-monster (about three years ago I was made aware of his presence) I am better at shunning his miserable-making but he still rears his ugly head on a far too regular basis.
Sometimes the best way to get rid of him is to do what he says, but that’s just like feeding the seagulls. They go away for a minute and then moments later thousands gather around, pecking at your fish and chip newspaper.
In the interest of clean socks tomorrow, I’ll do the laundry. But that’s all.
And here come the gulls.
I have two ‘small stones’ to share – yesterday’s and today’s – and the purpose of writing these little observations is to be entirely present in the moment, appreciating the thoughts and senses and experience of the now – as opposed to thinking of other times, places and the ever-present to-do list.
So I’m throwing these two small stones at the should-monster gulls.
I am purple girl
two times purple pants, cardi
gloves and a jacket.
Succulent circle steak
mushroom gorgonzola sauce
chips for wiping up